Thursday, March 22, 2018

Rish Outcast 104: Library Week

Sorry about the lateness of this episode.  I worked a double-shift one day this week, and every day since I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to catch up.

So, in this episode I'm sharing my now-dated 21st Century story "Library Week." Then I talk a while about how it got so dated so fast.

Warning: The F-word.

Warning 2: Not that F-word.

Warning 3: Two episodes from now is gonna be another Patreon-only show.  Don't let those few listeners suffer alone.

If you absolutely have to download this episode, go ahead and Right-Click HERE.

If you wish to support me on Patreon, you know WHERE TO GO.

If you hate me and my story, you also know WHERE TO GO.

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Rish Outcast 103: What A Stupid Concept

Here's that oft-mentioned "lost" episode from 2015, where I talk a bit about my "Dead & Breakfast" anthology concept, and the first story written for it, "True Ghost Encounter."

Also, it ain't you, it's Loggins.

You wanna download the episode?  Here, Right-Click THIS.

You can find "True Ghost Encounter" at THIS LINK.

Thanks to Gino "The Badger" Moretto for the lovely logo.

Writing Update

Or more like, "Shite-ing Update," am I right, kids?

In my case, I think I'm pretty right.

So, the deadline for Big and I to swap stories was last night at midnight (my time, why not add an extra hour there), and my story is in no condition to be read, podcast, or even burned. Over the last week, I forced myself to go to the library four times--technically, five (since I once left to pick up my nephew, then brought him back to the library with me)--even if I didn't have my craptop with me. What I would do was jet on over there, if I only had a half hour free, and perch myself in front of one of their library computers, fire up Word, and type until it was time to go. No checking email, no surfing the internet, no pictures of Jodie Foster glaring angrily at men and/or superhero movies, just focus on writing.

And it pretty much worked. Once my time was done, I'd start up gmail, and I'd send the day's work to my Inbox. And there it all stays, in fits and starts, along with the stuff I wrote on my craptop, and worse, in my notebook. Because Big had set a deadline, then extended it two days, I had plenty of time to write a short story, and the day before it was due, I forced myself to do the above, and achieved an impressive number of words, the last two of those being "the end."

But "the end" was a lie, just like the byline. I think "Arthur Terwilliger Jr." is not going to cut it as a pseudonym.

For my story, which is a bit like the Lara and the Witch ones, but with a brother and sister, is shaping up to be a Hefty bag full of words, a novelette if I'm lucky, a novella if I ain't. Never a novel, though, 'cause that would swing around to being lucky again.

The Metallica song that inspired it is called "My Friend of Misery," and any connection to that song has fled along with my inspiration. But there comes a point in the story, where there's a sort of ending, and then the tale jumps forward in time, so I felt like I could get away with putting a "the end" there, send the story to Big, and keep writing every day until the rest of the tale is written. It's a bit of a cheat, but just a bit.

In other news, I just completed another story for "Pseudopd," and a podcast that severed all association with us several years ago asked me to do a narration. It was difficult enough I had to stop narrating and read the story through to the end. Hey, I get to be an editor again! The thing had a great idea, but needed a polish, as the punctuation was all wrong (and sometimes absent), and there were two occasions when one of the male characters was referred to as "she" or "her," and I realized with horror that, being a disgusting man, I had ASSUMED the characters were male and they'd been female all along. Whoops. But a moment later, the pronouns became masculine again and I realized that the author had just made a mistake. Then there were a couple of lines of dialogue with no attribution, and worse, one that was attributed wrong. I had to make an executive decision and omit one sentence (since the thing that character said was not included), and rearrange one paragraph so it made sense (I think it had been rearranged by accident anyway). Normally, it doesn't take long to do a narration, but this one took me until the wee hours of the night. And if I did my job right, you'll never know. Yay.

So, that brings me back to my own story, and the reason for writing all this. I didn't make my deadline, and sent Big nothing. Even worse, I persuaded him to give me a couple more days to organize everything, during which I secretly hoped to make my story--written under duress and without much help from the muse--feel like one of my better works. A monumental task, let me tell you.

On the bright side, I wrote every day this month so far. Except today, since this doesn't count.

Rish Outfield, Writer on the Storm

Sunday, March 04, 2018

It's Oscar Night(!)

"Hey, I sure appreciate y'all letting me come over and watch with you," my coworker Tobin said, sitting down on the couch to my left. 
"No problem," I told him, passing the pretzels. "We love the Academy Awards in this house. Angie always likes the dresses, I like the pomp and reverence, the kids like the film clips, we all pretty much cry during the In Memorium. And nobody else in the neighborhood cares about them."
"That's right," my wife said from my right. "There's always a barbecue  on the street for the Super Bowl, for the Playoffs, every time Trump tweets something awful, the World Series. But not the Oscars."
"It's a special night for me too, every year," Tobin said. "So, thanks for making me feel at home."
On the television, Jimmy Kimmel was just starting his monologue when Tobin muttered something under his breath.
"What was that?" I asked, sure I had heard him wrong.
"If Get Out don't win Best Picture, I'm gonna murder the whole lot of you," he repeated.
Oh. That's what I thought he had said.
He passed the pretzels on to my wife.

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Rish Outcast 102: The Brown Prom (Part 2)

Rish finishes up his over-long story, "The Brown Prom," a true(ish) high school memory.  Then he crams (quite literally) two episodes' worth of discussion in about the magical mystery wonder years tour.

Downloading the episode?  Right-Click HERE.

Supporting Rish on Patreon?  Just-Click HERE.

Monday, February 26, 2018

This Is My Write Song

So, I don't write anymore. I just can't get myself to do it. It's not that I don't want to (I think about it all the time, little ideas here and there, tiny sparks like "he crashes his car coming home from his Magic: The Gathering tournament."

But I still don't write. I went to the library last week with the sole intention of writing. I sat down with no distractions . . . and couldn't do it. Instead, I edited an audiobook for the whole time I would've been writing. I even sit at the library now, trying once again to do it, and instead of writing, here I am typing up a blog post.*

In desperation after my failure at the cave--er, library, I called up Big Anklevich on Friday, asking if he might want to collaborate on a story with me.  He did not.

But . . . and here's the other reason I'm typing this up (the other being that I do not want to write), he suggested we do a Broken Mirror-type writing exercise, where we each write a short story based on a Metallica song, and then swap them the first week in March.  He gave us two weeks to do them, and said he'd publicly announce the "contest" (or whatever you wanna call it) so people would hold us to it.

I saw that he finally posted about it this morning**, which means the race is on, and I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO WRITE, which, I guess, was the whole point of this exercise (and my desperate call to Big at work).  Oddly, however, he claims in his post that this was my idea, that I've been obsessed for years with writing a story based on a Metallica song, despite the fact that, a) I'm not even a fan of the band, he is; and b) it was his idea back in 2005 to write a Metallica-based story which inspired me to make a list of their songs and a sentence or two for the ones I thought had potential.  Nothing ever came of it (of course), but I still have that list, and hey, I guess it could come in handy now.

So, I have to write a story based on the title of a song by Metallica and have it to Big by March 9th, and he has to do the same.  His is going to be called "Frayed Ends of Sanity," but I already knew that, since he told me that a year ago, and perhaps as long as five years back.

Mine . . . well, I don't know.  I did go as far as to look up each of their pre-2000 albums to see if there's a song that grabs my interest.  There are a couple pretty good ones, like Trapped Under Ice, Disposable Heroes, The Shortest Straw, Harvester of Sorrow, Of Wolf and Man, and holy smoke, the greatest song title of all, The Thing That Should Not Be

The one I'm leaning toward right now, though, is My Friend of Misery.

Wish me luck.

Rish "Megadeth Fan" Outfield

*I got it into my head to write a story where a guy's car goes off the road and he ends up in a weird little town just as the sun is going down.  The people there are all very nice to him (too nice?), and seem oddly religious, talking about sinners and sinning and the like.  There's no motel, but an older man offers to put the guy up in his extra room for the night, and the next morning they'll go retrieve his car.  But, that night is the third night of the full moon, and no, they're not werewolves, but every month, on this particular night . . . something comes to visit the town, looking for the greatest sinner.  A friendly citizen (a pretty young thing?) warns our character about it, that if he's a worldly man who's used to sinning, he might want to leave town on foot before the moon rises.  He suggests just stealing a car, and she's aghast, as that would almost certainly draw the attention of . . . whatever it is comes for sinners that night.  Anyway, I thought about writing up a couple paragraphs about it, seeing where it could go (I could even call it "Pray For Us Sinners"), except I didn't.  I wrote this instead.

**Though he didn't admit in his post that he hasn't started writing his yet.  Which I couldn't help but interpret as: holy monkey, Big's actually started writing his story!  Of course, I'm sure I'm wrong, but it was still a chilling thought.

Monday, February 19, 2018

Rish Outcast 101: The Brown Prom

This week, Rish presents the first beefy chunk of his high school Junior Prom tale.  And, of course, it comes with enough long-winded explanation to choke Saint Valentine himself.

Want to download the show directly?  Right-Click HERE.

Want episodes early (and the exclusive episode he just finished)?  Support Rish's Patreon HERE.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Rish Outcast 100: Q&A Slight Delay

So, Rish presents his effed-up short story "A Slight Delay," and as if you have all the time in the world, answers a few listener questions.
Do NOT look them in the eye.

Download it by Right-Clicking HERE.
Patreon page HERE.

Sunday, February 04, 2018

Rish Outcast 99: All Sports, All The Time

One day, Rish went to his nephew's basketball tournament, and decided to podcast about it.  Then, after losing some of the audio, he invited a special guest to help him out.

Warning: Tons of profanity (particularly the s-word).
Warning 2: Tons of sports (particularly the b-word).

Here's a handy link to download the episode directly, if you'll Right-Click HERE.

Money burning a hole in your pocket?  Cast some aside at Rish's Patreon fund HERE.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Character Assassination Luke Skywalker (VIDEO VERSION)

Holy Smoke-monster, did this take a long time!  I figured, since I went to all the trouble, I'd put the video version up here as well.  Enjoy?