Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Rish Outcast 49: Grey Skies Ahead

This episode is from so long ago, I thought for sure I'd already published it.  Hard to remember what it was even about.  I seem to recall that Rainy days and Mondays always got Karen Carpenter down.

Podcasting can be many things: a stage, a soapbox, a springboard for ideas, a confessional, an experiment, an artistic outlet, a pastime, a journal.  And, as I've said a time or two, free therapy.

There have been a couple of episodes I've recorded while in a bad mood--either angry or despondent--and used this little forum as a way to feel better.  I think this may be the first of those to actually get released.

Got something sunnier for you next time, though.

Don't forget, to download the episode, simply RIGHT CLICK HERE.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Sneak Preview

Look what I got today . . .

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Rish Outcast 48: "Climb" Every Mountain

We interrupt our regularly scheduled podcast for a bit of exercise.  Too much?  You be the judge.

Shudder at the tale of Rish's recent brush with exercise.

Of course, you're free to download the episode by right-clicking HERE.

P.S.  As usual, I'm still after someone who can catalog all of Fake Sean Connery's songs, so I know which ones have not yet seen the light of day.

Sunday, August 07, 2016

Rish Outcast 47: Ask Me No Questions (The Voyage Home)

Okay, last time.  This is your brain on drugs.

Rish finally gets to the end of Tom Tancredi's list of probing questions.  With these out of the way, maybe we'll be able to start doing story presentation episodes agai--


Feel free to download the episode by Right-Clicking HERE.

Friday, August 05, 2016

Rish Performs "Mayenne" by E.C. Tubb at

"Mayenne" is the ninth book in E.C. Tubb's "Dumarest of Terra" series, and may well have been the longest in coming (it was certainly the latest, though not quite two years past the deadline*).  But it's available now.

In this tale, Earl Dumarest is on another starship, with another odd assortment of crew and passengers, when disaster strikes.  The vessel is almost certainly doomed, but is saved at the last moment by a mysterious being, Tormyle, that turns out to be a living planet that is fascinated with humanity, death, fear, courage, and love.

It's a story that would have been right at home on "Star Trek" (as several of these have been), and I found this to be the strongest book in the series up to this point.  The titular Mayenne is a sort of musical diva, who has an almost supernatural singing talent, and who immediately falls in love with Dumarest, as literally every other female character in these books has done.

Tormyle, the planetary intelligence, designs various trials and experiments to test Dumarest and the others, to evaluate strength, speed, intelligence, honor, and that old stand-by of forcing people to choose which of their companions will be killed and which will be spared.

Of all the books so far, I think this was the most pleasurable to perform, and the least problem-laden (though I did have to re-record one chapter, and there was a part early on where I fell asleep during the narration, and had even created a blog post talking about it, which I never published.

I only have one more of these to do.  You can find "Mayenne" at this LINK.

*That particular "honor" will go to "Jondelle," the tenth (and last) book on my contract.

Thursday, August 04, 2016

Creepy Commute

I was at my friend's house tonight, going out to my car, when I saw a fairly large beetle perched on his wall.  "I haven't seen a bug that big since I was a kid," I said, somehow forgetting the cockroaches I encountered (and occasionally managed to stomp) in Southern California.  In my childhood, there would sometimes be big beetles or even bigger moths, but I doubted my nephews had ever encountered such a thing, having lived away from the wilderness their whole lives.

So I decided--foolishly, it turned out--to scoop the big insect up in a Walgreen's bag, and take it with me.  No big deal, right?

Well, imagine you are driving down the hill at night, making sure not to hit any deer (only saw two on the side of the road this time), when suddenly, something large starts to crawl up your leg from the dark.  Imagine further, you're wearing shorts.

Guess it got out of the shopping bag.

Just like you see in the movies, my car swerved into the opposing lane, as I recoiled from the sensation, shouting the name of a well-known deity, and then regaining control of the vehicle enough to pull it off to the side of the road so I could either recapture or get rid of the scrabbling creature.

My hand, not a child's.
Oddly, the worst part was then, once the car was stopped, as I fumbled on the roof of the car for the lightswitch . . . as the beetle began to crawl across the top of my foot.

I cringed and tried to shake it off, then got out of the car so I could be a little more physically unrestrained, almost wishing a cop would pull up so I could show him how good a reason I had to be driving like Mel Gibson on Yom Kippur.  But none happened by.

After I found the escapee and made certain I wouldn't be sitting or stepping on it, I got back in the car and kept on driving.  I did nearly pull the car over a second time, though, when the idea came into my head of what would have happened had the insect continued crawling up my leg and into my shorts.

Things can always be worse, boys and girls.

Monday, August 01, 2016

Rish Narrates "The Rat King" on Pseudopod

I was looking through the recordings on my magical device tonight, trying to free up some space, when I saw a file called "Rat King reading."  It was a narration I did of a story by Lia Swope Mitchell called "The Rat King," and I did a search for it.

Turns out, the episode went live two days ago, over at Pseudopod, the horror podcast.

This is a short tale told in Second Person, and was inspired by a weird phenomenon known as a rat king, where a mass of rodents get entangled by their tails, and become one filthy, starving, squirming, biting organism.  Like the Kardashians.

It's featured on another of their incessant "Flash on the Borderlands" episodes, with three scary tales in one.  They produce this shite every single week, and we can't even manage to get a show up a month.

Check it out at this link.

Saturday, July 30, 2016

The Podcast That Dares Not Speak Its Name: Skipping

Recently, there was a contest of sorts over at the Paradise Lost forums, encouraging writers and would-be writers.

They were doing a sort of take on the Broken Mirror Story Events that Big and I did on the Dunesteef.  Only these guys called it a Broken Mirror Story Event.  The assigned premise: "As you skip the rock across the water, you are surprised to see it come skipping back."

I wrote this story for two reasons: one, to support fans of the show, who were influenced in a positive way by the Dunesteef.  And two, because why not write another story?  Why not . . . that would be a good motto to have.

If you wanna download the file, just RIGHT-CLICK HERE.

Friday, July 15, 2016

Nephew of the Year

My eight year old nephew ran in this morning, with some kind of offering to me.  It looked like a treat, a jellybean, and he held it out, but with such a strange expression, that my Spider Sense couldn't help but start tingling.  "What's that?"

"It's candy," he said.  "Eat it."

"I don't get it," I said, because usually my nephews come into the room to steal my candy (which I used to have troves of in various drawers and hidden caches).  This was the first time the role was reversed.

"Just eat it.  See how it tastes."  And there was a barely-concealed amusement in his face and voice.

"Nah, I'm not really a jellybean sort of guy."  This is true.  About five years ago, somebody gave me a baggie of Jelly Bellies at a Dionysus festival, and it's still two-thirds full on my desk somewhere (buried under receipts, broken toys I'll never glue back together, and stories I wrote while Bush was still in office).

"Come on," the boy said.  "Just eat it."

"Nope.  Explain."

He sighed, and said, "We got these candies, and you never know if the flavors are gonna be good or bad.  Sometimes it's bubble gum or lemon, but sometimes it's throw-up, dirt, or diarrhea.  Now will you eat it?"

I think I'm gonna lock my door from now on.

Saturday, July 09, 2016

Rish Performs "Night of the ZomBEES" by Kevin David Anderson

Years ago, Kevin David Anderson published a book called "Night of the Living Trekkies," and he's never let us forget it.  But now he's back, with a brand new work, entitled "Night of the ZomBEES," and yours truly narrated the audiobook.

"ZomBEES" tells the tale of a couple of James Bond-loving teenagers who live in a town that so love honeybees that they have a yearly festival dedicated to them.  But the local mad scientist creates a sort of mutated mega-bee that once loosed, turns the townpeople into mindless horde of zombies . . . dressed in homemade bee costumes.  So, Shaun, Toby, and the world's nastiest redhead must team up to survive the plague, and see if they can't figure a way to make things right.

Kevin has always been a friend to the Dunesteef, and seeing his success gives me encouragement with my own work.  Maybe it’ll do the same for you.

You can buy the audiobook RIGHT HERE at Audible, or, if you're still not convinced, you can listen to the first three chapters at Kevin's website: