Monday, March 18, 2024

Rish Narrates "The Prairie's Song" on Tales To Terrify

Once again, the Tales To Terrify podcast has given me a story to perform, and while I appreciate their thinking of me, did you ever see the 1972 classic NIGHT OF THE LEPUS?*  Apropos of nothing, I'm sure.


Anyhoo, "The Prairie's Song" tells the tale of one Leland, who travels across Kansas to homestead a plot of land, which will be legally his if he can manage it for five years.  But as soon as he sees the thick grasses, and hears the whistling of the wind across it, he is unsettled, all alone out there.  But IS he alone?

The story was written by Emily J. Weisenberger and can be found AT THIS LINK.

As I've often observed, every new project offers new challenges, great and small.  This one was the character name Justicia.  Unfortunately, I pronounced it differently practically every single time, giving different sounds to both the J and the U, but never the -cia, which I suppose I never did get right.  But it's not a name I've ever heard before, and my brain kept interpreting it as a Spanish word, so . . . sorry?



*Well I saw it, and it scared the shit out of me.  It scared the shit out of every man in America!

Sunday, March 17, 2024

What's Troubling You?

So, you may remember my story "Troubled Child," one I wrote for a Journey Into... contest years ago (the Journey Into Journey contest).  I had to write a story using the title "Troubled Child," and incorporating two lines from the song in there.

What I wrote was about a baby that was drawn toward people who were sad or suffering, and you know, it was pretty good, considering the contest stipulations.  I may never win one of those Journey... contests, but you can be sure I'll keep trying.

So, I went ahead and made that available for purchase, encouraged by Big's prolific output recently.  You can check it out HERE.


This is the cover Big made for me last year, that I just got around to using this week, but what I'd really like is to get an image of a baby or toddler reaching toward somebody in a wheelchair.  I see it in my head, but I wasn't able to get a cover generator to do that for me.  

Now that I've been doing this for a couple of weeks (give or take ten years), I sort of wish I'd thought to put "A Short Story" on every one of these covers, to warn people that's what they are.  I'd hate for somebody to buy one, thinking it was a novel, only to discover that I'm not a novelist.  Ah well, maybe next life. 

Saturday, March 16, 2024

It's Easy M'Kay (Threepio)

Hasbro, the toy company, is renowned for doing cheap repaints of their figures, in order to maximize a return on investment.*  Often, these are extremely lame or ill-advised.  But sometimes, like with the various Prequels clones, or the assorted droids, it's not only expected, but encouraged by the fans.

A very minor character in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (technically, an extra) is K-3PO, a white protocol droid killed during the attack on Echo Base.  Or "killed," if you want to be that guy. 


It's a figure that would be very easy for Hasbro to do (in their 6 Inch line), but one they never have bothered to make (there's also a red protocol droid called U-3PO that I'll set my sights on later).  So, when I saw a very cheap C-3PO for sale a few weeks back, I scooped it up with a quick repaint in mind.

Unaltered TFA figure
Three weeks later, I finally finished it.


The above pic was my first try, using one white paint on one arm, one on the other (the pearlier white did not coat at all, so I ended up using the other white, then doing a recoat in the pearly, almost glue-like white).


I did the whole upper half, and I thought it looked pretty good (still do, even though when I used that same white on a different figure, it looked like I had tried painting the darn thing with a piece of chalk).

This is the whole thing painted white (first coat).  Am I taking too many pictures?

And here it is with the second coat.

I took a picture of it with all the paint covered, including the stomach, but the flash was on and the photo's unusable, but here's one I took out in the snow with my Mandalorian repaint.

(I realize the snow looks fake)

And here's the finished product:


Big thinks I need to do a black or grey wash, to bring out the detail, and he may be right, but I'm not sure it will work in this case.  In the past, I've used an oil-based wash that is essentially paint thinner, and I worry it will just undo the white paint layers I've laid on.  I could experiment with another item, but in the meantime, I'm happy with my K-3PO.

Which means Hasbro will announce one tomorrow.

*The molds from which their figures are made cost a fortune, so if they can reuse them over and over again, the toys become exponentially cheaper to produce the more they do it.

Friday, March 15, 2024

Rish Outcast 273: Lara & the Witch and Me


Rish does his annual episode about the Lara Demming series, specifically talking about "Bundling Made Easy" and "Here To Help."

Note: Recorded over three sessions in two different months, expect plenty of repetition in this one.  Yay!

If you'd like to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you would like to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

If you like piƱa coladas, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "The Itch and Me" Moretto.

Thursday, March 14, 2024

Walk Or Run, You're Coming With Me

A bit a trivia for you: The only one of my stories that we did on both the Dunesteef and the Rish Outcast was "Know When To Walk Away, Know When To Run."  

It's one I've never been thrilled with, because I couldn't make the story itself as scary as it was in my head.  But I did rewrite it and try it again, then put it up on Amazon.  I worked really hard on the cover art . . . and it was ghastly.

(only not in a good way)

But I went online and spent a full half hour asking for a pair of scaly alien hands/tentacles holding cards at a Blackjack table.  

It's available HERE, and I think this cover is better . . .  but man oh man, I couldn't get the hands, the cards, and the casino to look right, so I had to compromise (and like the story, it's still not quite there).  Ah well.

Another bit a trivia for you: TWISTER was the first movie released on DVD.

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

You Know You're Getting Old When...

I had something of a milestone today, but it wasn't a good milestone, like paying off a house or sleeping with your daughter's friend.  No, this was more along the lines of throwing your back out for the first time, or finding a white chest hair, or, I dunno, pooping your pants for pleasure rather than by accident (you know what I'm talking about).


I went to Ross (Dress For Less, doncha know) and bought a few cheap toys, and the guy behind the counter gave me my total . . . then pressed a button and gave me a new total--a lower total.  I asked what had happened, and he said, "Tuesdays we give a senior citizen discount."  I said, "Uh, what?" but I paid my bill and then looked at the receipt.  Sure enough, there was a ten percent Seniors discount.

Won't be long now, kids.



Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Olivia Redux

I wrote a story called "Olivia Redux" a year or so back . . . then changed the title to "Olivia Rewinds."  I still like both titles, but went with the latter.*

 After an argument with her boyfriend, Olivia finds a strange pendant that enables her to go back in time to before it happened.  This was inspired by actually finding a strange pendant one morning (and finding it gone in the afternoon), and trying to come up with a story for a "Be Careful What You Wish For" writing contest--one that I ultimately lost, but not with this story.

Maybe the tale isn't great, but the cover art by Big Anklevich sure is.


This guy ought to charge for his services.  

If you think the same of me, go HERE to buy the story.


*If I ever write a story called "Octavia Restarts," I'll let you know.

Monday, March 11, 2024

Still Fighting It

I keep trying to replace covers and publish stories that had been sitting around, waiting their turn.

Next up is "Sleepless Afternoon," the prose version of a sketch I wrote for the show in 2010 or so.  It was a semi-amusing* piece where a vampire child awakens his father with fears of daylight, old English professors, the sun, Southern California vampire slayers, etc.  I had never released it on its own, so I tried to get an image of a little boy hiding under the covers.

I even went in and put vampire teeth on this one, but felt that less was more (although I did add a bit of orange to his eyes in the other, less angry kid).


But the first image worked a little better . . . though maybe not perfect for the story's tone.  Hey, you be the judge.  You can find the story HERE, if you like.

It's been a while, but I'm fond enough of that old sketch that I might record a video of myself reading that one and put it on my Patreon too.  We'll see--I do hate to edit videos.

Oh, that reminds me, I opened up "Bundling Made Easy" the other day, to add a link to "Here To Help" at the end (Abbie suggested I put a list of the other entries in a series on every one, and I'm going to assume that it has helped me sell copies), and I discovered that I had somehow pasted my About The Author page in the middle of the document.  So I removed it, and while I was at it, replaced Chapter 6 with an extended Chapter 6 I had started last year and never included in the final version.  I wish there were a way to let anybody who bought a copy simply switch it out Walmart-style for the newer version, but I suppose they could simply let me know and I woul--

What's that?  Nobody bought "Bundling Made Easy?"  Nobody?  So, Big was right?  Oh.

Never mind then.


*Your kilometridge may vary.

Sunday, March 10, 2024

New Clerk, Old Story

This was my mock-up of what I wanted for a cover, using a free stock photo.

As I mentioned earlier (although I've been posting these out of order, so maybe I mentioned it later), I've been republishing stories with superior covers this month, and publishing stories that I somehow failed to put out there over the years.  And the one I'm plugging today is called "Meet the New Clerk, Same As The Old Clerk."  It's a story in the Dead & Breakfast series, and deals with Meeshelle Lovett, a one-time employee of the Noble Oaks Bed & Breakfast, who quit working there, and is now coming back.


And this was Big's improvement on it.

For a year and a half, maybe two, I was knee-deep in the Dead & Breakfast stories, cranking them out as fast as I could.  That time seems behind me, but I'm still fond of the series.  I like this particular story because I like Meeshelle, and that she's afraid to come back to the haunted motel, but forces herself to do so anyway.  

Check it out HERE, if you like.

This was the 2024 version I came up with--which is much closer to what I wanted in my head.

And this was the finished product Big gave me.



Friday, March 08, 2024

Went To The Ninth Sector, And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

This week, my buddy Big and I finally got together to talk about cover art--specifically, the bad art I've had on my stories that he's seen fit to improve for me--and we talked so much that we ran out of time and will have to do it again next week.  A lot of time, the images I picked were good, but my text looked unprofessional, or worse, like recently-microwaved walrus dung.*  Other times, it was just bad, top to bottom.

And while we were looking over old covers, I stumbled upon the image Sonny See created for us back in 2014 for my story "Greetings From The Ninth Sector."  That was a story I wrote for a contest where I had to use the words "Squad," "Reports," and "George Lucas" in there somehow.**  In it, Corporal Bruce Otterson, onboard the IFS Lucas, sends messages back to his girlfriend Mandy, as their ship enters the mysterious Ninth Sector, which many onboard think is haunted or cursed. As his transmissions continue, Bruce becomes more and more concerned that his shipmates may be right

Big added the star field and the text.  Not sure why he picked that shade of blue.

Big said he could make the logo on the image look better than what I had done myself (goes without saying), and to my surprise, I discovered I had NEVER put it out on Amazon.***  So, today I remedied that.  The story is available HERE, if you never read the longer version.  I plan on publishing other stories in the next couple of weeks, so I'll keep you posted.

I also thought I would sit down one evening this month and video myself performing the story, then make it available on my Patreon.  And if people like that, do it again.  And again.  What do you think?


*Looking forward to the episode yet?  I know I am, and I haven't even started editing it.

**I figured I could just go look up the words on the Dunesteef page . . . but the Dunesteef page is long gone.  :(

***That's not technically true; it was part of a collection that's no longer available.  I really ought to put together five or eight story collections in case somebody somewhere wants to buy them.  But I probably won't.

Thursday, March 07, 2024

The Washer Did What?

Not for nothing*, but I've got another story out there, if you'd like to read it.  

In "The Washer Whispers," Gil Pinto, recently widowed, hears a sound coming from the dishwasher.  Sounds a bit like a voice, doesn't it?  What is it saying?  And is it talking to him?

Check it out HERE.

This is another one of those stories inspired by real life (I came upstairs and heard someone talking low, even though I was sure I was alone, and walked around trying to figure out who left a radio or phone on . . . but it was the gurgling of the new dishwasher, sounding remarkably like a person whispering), but ended up very much different than I intended it (I'm not usually a pantser, rather than a plotter, but this was closer to the former).

I really struggled with the cover art on this one, asking it to make a man with his hand on a dishwasher, or kneeling beside a dishwasher, or squatting in front of a dishwasher.  


I went through dozens of iterations, and it kept putting the man INSIDE the washer, or having the "camera" in the washer, and once . . . it filled the washer with skulls, which I liked, but doesn't fit the story I was telling.



Finally, I decided on the bottom image, but you may (or may not) notice: he's got three feet.  Luckily, Big cropped it tighter, and the world will never know my sin.


Oh, I did record this one, using a gruff old man voice (even though the narrator isn't even ten years older than me), and . . . that was a mistake.


*Again, I probably would not even care if Big Anklevich weren't doing so well right now with writing and publishing stories.  Peer pressure's the worst.