Tuesday, March 28, 2017

"Sea Monkey Do" in Video Form

Back in 2014, I did a couple audio sketches involving my nephew.  Today I was thinking of doing a new one, so I figured I'd make the first two available on YouTube.  Look, I'm never going to do real videos, I'm not in my twenties anymore.*  But this'll have to do.

This is "Sea Monkey Do," and everything in it is just as true now as it was when I recorded it.

Again, I would like to make more of these, since they're just going to get easier to put together, but I need to have an idea.  Maybe the four or five short film scripts I wrote for me and Big Anklevich to do when I was first moving from California, though probably not.

*I once made a video in my parents' basement of three hitmen on a party line together.  I set up three sections of the room with different telephones, and tried to change my appearance for the three characters (I remember slicking my hair back for one, wearing a suit and sunglasses for another, and the shaving off what little facial hair I had after recording all of the first guy's lines), then on my VCR, edited them together like they were having a conversation.  It took an unbelievable amount of time, and the finished product was one rung below mediocre, but that was the ambition I had in those days.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

My Story "Trick" in Weirdbook #34

A couple of days ago, Big did his first-ever (far as I'm aware) video podcast.  He filmed himself, edited in all sorts of footage, and even used his kid's drone to get a shot or two.  I was impressed, but not motivated to ever do it myself.  I consider myself if not a master then at least a bator of audio production, so I'll stick with that.

But when I saw a package from Wildside Press, whom I had sold a story to, I did having my nephew six year old nephew film me opening it.  I thought his little video might make an interesting blog post, especially since millions of people apparently watch videos of folks opening packages and boxes (for some reason).  But saner head prevailed, and I simply had the boy take a still photo or two.

The magazine is Weirdbook, issue 34, which is a continuation of their classic Weird Tales mag, in digest form.  It's big and looks good, published by John Betancourt, who owns the rights to those Dumarest of Terra books I used to drag my feet on narrating.

I checked out their website, and noticed their next theme for submissions is Witches.  They have to be original, unpublished stories, otherwise I think I might have a tale or two I could send them.

Or, I could just write something new.

It was nice to hear I had sold something a couple of months ago when they contacted me.  A couple folks on Facebook were really congratulatory, inferring that it was a bigger deal than I thought it was.

Of course, the fact that I actually submitted something somewhere is the real trick.

And speaking of tricks . . .

"Trick" is that story I wrote on Halloween night a couple of years ago, talking about taking my daughter out trick or treating that I posted as my status on Facebook.  It's only notable for the fact that people responded to my Facebook post not with surprise that I had encountered a ghost, but that they hadn't realized I had a daughter.

Other than that, not really notable.

Except for the publishing, I guess.  That's pretty notable.

The magazine is pretty cool.  I intended to read through it all, making notes of any stories I really responded to, and maybe scooping them up for the Dunesteef.  There are no author names I recognize, but there are fun titles such as "A Demon in the Doughnut Shop," "Blood of God," "A Kiss for the Mirrorman," and of course, "Bunnies of the Apocalypse."  You know which one I'll be reading first.*

If you wanna buy yourself a copy and read along with me at home, check it out at this link over at Amazon.

Rish Outfield, Bookweird

*That'd be the bunny one, kids.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Rish Outcast 69: Bland Ambition

On his last long drive, Rish remembers being told that he had no ambition.  Fake Sean also shares the first requested song from a Patreon supporter.

Yeah, "Bland Ambition" was the best title I could come up with.  Sue me.

You feel like downloading the episode?  Well, Right-Click this link and save it to your dee-vice.

And remember, I have a Patreon fund, where you can hear exclusive episodes, monthly updates, and send me a few bucks.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

I Perform "Caveat Emptor, Caveat Venditor" on Far Fetched Fables

Friends, Far-Fetched Fables is a fabulous farm of fascinating fact, fiction, and folly, follow?

FFF is a podcast that puts out short stories, mostly Fantasy, every every single week.  I don't know how they do it, but hey, I can do a story for them when they ask.

This time, they asked me to narrate "Caveat Emptor, Caveat Venditor" by Edward Ahern.

It's about a wizard named Harald, who--

That's right, Harald.  Oh kids, I had a bugger of a time recording this one, with almost constant repetitions of "said Harold sadly, as he--  I mean said Harald sadly..."  And even then, about one of every five Harolds I forgot to correct, and I had to decide whether it sounded enough like Harald to get by, or whether I had to rerecord the line.

Anyway, Harald is a failed warlock who teams up with a failed demon, in an attempt to change his stars.

Oh, just go listen to the fudging thing.  It's free.

Here be the link!

Friday, March 17, 2017

"The Little Talk" in Video Form

Here's another video for you of an old sketch.

The first, "Sea Monkey Do," took me quite a while to put together (for reasons I can't quite vocalize), but when I did a second and third one the same week, those went much faster, once I got the hang of it.  If I could somehow have an incentive to do these all the time, I think they could become a regular feature.

This one, "The Little Talk," is about that time in every parent's life, where they have to sit down with their child and talk about right and wrong, light and darkness, Autobots and Decepticons.


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

The Ides of March

So, today is the fifteenth, what they call The Ides of March.  In honor of the Roman new year and the assassination of Caesar, I figured I'd make a post.

I've now written more that forty-five days in a row, with no real reason to stop (although the other night, ye gods, I did not want to do any writing, and pretty much stopped after about three hundred words).  If you have been following Big's blog/Facebook posts, it's been kind of life-changing for the guy.  His outlook, his self-image, even his hair color has changed.

For me, the thing that's remarkable, is that I'm actually getting my writing projects done.  I've expressed before that there's only so much gas in the tank for each idea that I get.  Some of them I manage to keep going until I finish, some of the ideas have enough of a reservoir to last several months (or years), but a lot of them run dry long before I get to my destination.

But writing every day, and trying to write a significant amount every day (Big's goal is a thousand words daily, and that is actually quite a lot), has been just what the doctor ordered.*  Even though it's still a struggle to get to the end of a novella, when I'm writing them in only five or six weeks, instead of six months to a year, it's enabled me to push through with purpose, and think about the next project I'm going to tackle, knowing I may actually get to it before the idea has completely faded from my mind.

Plus, being able to write those holiest of words (no, Mom, not "drunk cheerleader;" but that's a close second) every month or so does wonders for my morale.

Don't get me wrong, I still feel like a total loser, and the fact that I objectively am doesn't help matters, but at least I'm a creatively-fulfilled loser.

At this rate, I should finish "Ten Thousand Coffins" by the end of March, and then . . . what?  I could start on the next Ben Parks adventure (the one with the old man with a secret), I could write "The Sin Eater" (a project I had literally forgotten existed until yesterday), I could write a story for a contest (there's another one just about to begin), or I could try again to write a novel (that seems to be where the money is).  The sky could be the limit, as long as I do the work.

Here's to you, Gaius Julius Caesar.

Rish Outfield, The Chides of March

*And I'm not talking about Doctor Kevorkian this time.

Monday, March 13, 2017

College Graduate?

I won't bore you with the background details of what I'm about to share (although, man, why would you be reading this if you weren't bored already?), but basically, I wrote a story not long ago about my buddy's kid working at the college where I went to school, and had him snap a picture of the hall when nobody was in it.  Then I made an alteration or two to the picture, because it wasn't at all what I wanted, but I wasn't going to ask him to take another one.* 

That photo is here:

So, I wrote up the text for the story, in my usual green text, like so:

It doesn't look great, I know, but it was pretty close to what I was looking for.  And honestly, I'm real easy to please when it comes to . . .

Wait a minute, there's a misspelling on there.

Thank Krishna I caught it in time!  I was able to grab the image, fix the spelling, and whew, here's the final product:

(relieved sigh)

Yes, I went to college.  That college.

Rish Outfield, Aware of the Mistake or I Wouldn't Be Posting This

*The poor kid risked deportation just snapping the single phone pic he sent me.  Honestly, I had wanted a photo of one of the super-wide main corridors, lined with windows on both sides, so you could see that it was night.  This hall doesn't look anything like the hall in my memory (or the story), but ah well.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Rish's Voice on "The Eyestalk Kid" on YouTube

A long time ago, I was asked to contribute my voice to Al Bruno III's "The Eyestalk Kid."  Well, it's available, in video form, over at YouTube.

The carnival comes to town, and with it a barker wanting fifty dollars to view something called The Eyestalk Kid.  Hilarity does not ensue.

I voiced Mister Fether, and it was long enough ago, I had no idea where the story was going.  There are characters called "Mister Fether" and "Doctor Tarr" in there, like you would in a horror story.  Oh, and one more thing: the characters attending the carnival are all adults, with spouses and jobs, as opposed to the usual teenagers that would populate one of these stories.  I found that strange.

Here's the link.

This is an interesting format to release it in, since it's still totally just an audio file, with a couple of images in the background.  Makes me wonder if I should release a story or two of my own on YouTube, since I've already got them edited, and it would only take an hour or so to make a "video" version.  Hmmm.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Rish Outcast 68: Unique Combination

This week, Rish shares with you the first (at least I think so) Broken Mirror Story* he's put on the show, one based on the premise "a group of kids mix together a 'suicide,' with unexpected results."

It's called "Unique Combination."  Is it any good?

Say it with me, children . . .

Oh, and Big's story was called "True Colors."  Ask him about it sometime.

If you wanna download the episode, you can Right-Click here.

And please remember the Patreon fund, where you can support my efforts, get episodes early, and exclusive content!

*I never shared the one about the dandruff shampoo that also serves as male enhancement, did I?

Wednesday, March 08, 2017

March Update

So, it was a huge relief when February came to an end and I no longer had to go through each page in my notebook and count the words.  Not only was it ridiculously tedious, but I would lose count on pretty much every single page, and get some number that was either impossible or wildly underwhelming.  Even in tabulating the daily totals on the blog my math skills failed me, and I ended up with about eight hundred more words I had somehow not added to the total.

But with March 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, at least, I still counted the words in my notebook, and when I went to the library (usually twice or thrice a week) and wrote next to Big on Mondays, I had a digital counter to tell me how well I was doing.*

Regardless, I still write every day, and have now passed the halfway point in my novella (which would have taken me months or years just a dozen years ago), despite having started it in late February.  I'm waiting on notes for my werewolf story, and then I'll publish it (which contributes to my March goal of five items released).  Also, I have finished revising an older story, and I could publish or record it anytime, and am just about to send out my most recent short story "Hack Reporter"** to anybody who wants to give me notes on it, for a future Outcast episode where I talk about the process from first draft to release.

It sounds as thought there's going to be another Broken Mirror Event at the Paradise Lost forums, so I'll be writing a story for that, I've been invited to guest blog on a horror site, and I got an offer to produce an audiobook in the unusual genre of Western Romance (though it may turn out to be Western Erotica, depending on the amount of spanking).

So, I'm keeping busy.  Busy is good.

Rish Outfield, Aspiring Poet

*Speaking of which, Bigglesby is doing phenomenally well this month with his writing, easily outpacing me in productivity, which, let's be frank, is both impressive and hard to get my head around.  He upped his daily writing goal to a thousand words, and has stuck with it.  Though I may have declared this the Year of Rish Outfield, historians may disagree.

**Title may change.  NOT A FLYING TOY.